Reform Family Law Now

There is still very much to be learned about how a deranged young man came to massacre 20 innocent, young children in Connecticut on Friday. Guns have been widely and foolishly blamed - they didn't pull their own triggers.

One thing that won't be discussed or accounted for, however, is the absence of the boys' father, the animosity toward him by the boy's mother, and whatever it was she fed this boy's mind and emotions on a daily basis. Was it alienation? We may never know. What there more serious and directed abuse, aimed at a vulnerable boy who was deprived of common coping mechanisms?

And no, this isn't meant as blame against someone who became one of the victims. But something was seriously wrong with that young man, and it doesn't appear as if it started an hour or two before the murders. It had to be brewing for a long time.

From the description of her death, it sounds as if he must have been very angry with his mother - which is absolutely no justification for her killing, nor any other. What he did was sheer evil - unbridled, unequivocal, utterly in humane evil.

But it didn't happen in a vacuum. It didn't happen solely because his mother owned guns, and it didn't happen because he was anything close to "normal" or well. He lived with some horrible demons. And he lived in a place isolated from his own father, with a mother who despised the man who was his Dad.

How often do we hear about a father when a horrible mass shooting occurs? Does anyone ever know why the father is or isn't in the killer's life? I suspect it's very rare that a mass murderer has any meaningful relationship with his biological, father - but do we even know? Is the question ever asked?

And what about their mothers - what do we know about them? Until one of the victims was actually a mother herself - we seemed to never hear their stories either. So we can't know what actually happened.

But is there a chance, a very real chance, maybe even a probability that no one - NO ONE develops an utter indifference to human life, unless the childhood they have experienced, the upbringing that rendered what they have been taught - was built upon the presence, or even outright fomenting of indifference and/or hatred on the part of no one else other than that person's primary caregiver? Is that possible? Or is it possible that this kind of horror could ever occur if it wasn't just possible, but absolutely true?

I know I may be wrong. I want to be wrong! I do not want to think a mother, any mother, or any other parent, could ever want to feed so much hate and indifference into the soul of another human being - and I WANT TO HEAR from those who can attest to it - if I am wrong. It is a terrible thing to consider.

But what else can explain this? What else can possibly come close to explaining it? If it is the ownership of guns, our nation would have been dotted with this kind of slaughter throughout our history, and there would be thousands and thousands more like it. But there are literally millions of gun owners in America, who would not and never will perpetrate any crime. And there are thousands of gun owners who possess "assault weapons", yet never, ever commit a single crime.

If mental illness accounted for it, again, we would likely have seen many hundreds or thousands more horrific killings of this type. The Newtown killer was neither diagnosed nor, until the murders occurred, was he even suspected of mental illness. He was odd, he was recluse, but as far as anyone knew, he was not mentally ill.

I fear we are leaving an important puzzle piece completely unturned in reconstructing these horrible events, and we are leaving this piece unturned because we do not want to ask questions that may have such unfathomable answers - could a child be fed a constant diet of hate and indifference to leave his soul utterly without any human compassion or care? And could he be fed this diet by the very person who gave him life - his own mother?

Motherhood is sacred in our culture. And motherhood is esteemed so highly because of the dedication, hard work and absolute love so many mother's pour out for their children every day - tirelessly! But we also live in a culture that is reflectively pleased to reward a mother who will use her position to hurt, harm or punish the man with whom she conceived that child.

This reality is regularly ignored because few mothers are willing to stoop to a level to use this power, fewer fathers are willing, ore empowered, to dig in and fight it when it happens, and grandparents, siblings, teachers, neighbors, pastors, friends, and therapists, cannot bring themselves to see the wretchedness of alienation, hate-filled, unrequieted alienation for what it really is.

I know. I've lived it. And so have my kids. And what a good friend told me shortly after my divorce was final was really true, "You could tell the world about it and write a book about it, Drew, but nobody'd read it, and nobody'd care."

It's time we do care. Until we do, those unanswered questions will remain unanswered.

No one, NO ONE, except my children, their mother and her parents knows what has been done and said in her home since the day she left me. And the way our system works now, no one ever will. No one knows how much the abject hate, and systematic destruction of one of the most important relationships in my children's lives, has affected them and how negatively it has affected them, and their ability to function and live as happy, ordinary people in this world and this culture of ours.

But one thing is certain - it has to be really bad. They have been told, and forced to submit that they can never feel nor show love to their father - have contact with him, or receive, accept and enjoy his love for them. They are cutoff and cutoff is not enough for their mother or her parents.

What we don't know, and CAN'T know at present is how this is done, what is said, what punishments they endure, and what it does to their human, natural sense of ordinary healthy human emotions - of love, concern, and affinity for those you are BORN to love and be close to.

Until our culture wakes up to the seriousness of this problem - how can we expect anything but more. More lack of human compassion, more indifference to life, and more complete lack of concern about other people, and ordinary life boundaries.

Anytime one parent is alienated from a child for any extended period of time, especially by the will of the other parent, we should have great and deep concern for and about what happens in the home where the alienated child/children live! SERIOUS CONCERN! That home should be looked at, not such casually on a one time basis, but consistently, over time to see and understand what is happening to the child's soul as they have to cope with the alienation from that parent, and any hostility directed toward that parent from within their home.

Our neglect of this problem is serious and we need to open our eyes and change. "All it takes for evil to live and dwell among us, is for good people to look the other way." Let's start looking at real problems with real people and stop ignoring them!

Andrew Thompson is a custody, divorce and paternity lawyer and consultant based in Carmel, IN. He has three beautiful daughters in Michigan who need him and who he loves dearly,and desires to be restored to a full and loving relationship! He can be reached by phone at 317-604-1276, or email at ajt@thompsonlaw-in.com.

Dealing with Parental Alienation

The era of easy alienation of a non-custodial parent is coming to a close.  Unfortuantely, closing that chapter in our culture, comes slowly.  Nonetheless, in the past ten years, court records of cases in Indiana and other states indicate that divorced, non-custodial parents have become much more likely to see their children, even years after a divorce is final.  Frequently this is occurring by the courts' will as much as it is by the actions of non-custodial parents themselves.

In states like Indiana where there are domestic relations counseling agencies in many counties, these agencies are making it a practice to recommend parenting time, therapy and other interventions that enable both parents to actively participate in their chidlren's lives.

While the data is enocuraging on its face, in no way should it be interpreted to mean that parents should minimize their activism in trying to imporve conditions for equal consideration for both parents.  

For example, while the state agency in some counties will often recommend additonal parenting time for a father after a child reaches school age, the same agency will rarely recommend a garduated schedule of parenting time that increases a father's involvement when teh child is still an infant.  Thus, a Dad may be forced to incur great expense to come back to court to get substantial parenting time, even though the agency could have acknoweldged this would be the likely outcome when it did an evaluation of the family years earlier.

The bottom line, however, is good news.  The trend is in the right direction.  But it is incumbent on concerned parents, grandparents, step-parents, etc. to continue to do the hard work of advocating for the parental rights of fathers and all non-custodial parents seeking to give the most they can to their own children.

Appellate courts are more and more willing to reverse trial courts that fail to recognize parental rights of a non-custodial parent. Though custody decisions themselves remain hard to overturn, a denial of basic parental rights is recognized under the Constitution, and the holdings of most state Supreme Courts.

Equal Rights for Fathers are as Important to Children as Dads

If you're a father (or a step-mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, daughter, brother, grandfather, uncle, or friend who knows a Dad who has been alienated from his children) and you have been denied the right to equal access to your children, equal time with them, and/or an equal role in parenting , it's time to act!

For far too long, custody laws and court decisions have favored mothers, even in situations where the father is able and willing to act in every way as a full and equal partner in parenting.

This bias has offered the easiest way out for judges and magistrates, appeasement of angry or fearful mothers, and a means for the federal government to funds its voracious appetite for spending on entitlement programs. The last item seems like an odd addition in the series, but it is both true and quite important.

If not for the revisions to the welfare system that were passed by Congress in the 1980's and 90's, we might be a country of equal parenting, and less divorce, than we are today. But thanks to the need to fund additional welfare programs, and the shortage of direct tax money for the funding, the indirect tax of child support became the best alternative.

The result has been that divorced fathers are regularly and grievously hit with a burden of support that is beyond their means to pay. This is how the federal government subsidizes the welfare system today.

So what is there to do? The system has been challenged in state legislatures across the country as well as Congress, but the women's lobby supporting the system is as strong or stronger than men's. The legislative route is foreclosed.

Likewise, the state court systems thrive on the imbalance and inequity in the system.

The only remaining recourse is through the Constitution itself and its guaranty of equal rights to all - including fathers. And the only way to bring the weight of the Constitution's authority to bear on the system is through the federal courts in class action suits.

Call Thompson Legal Services at (317) 604-1276 or email Andrew Thompson at ajt@thompsonlaw-in.com to discuss your rights and options.

Why Fathers Matter

From the homepage of the Indiana Fatherhood Summit:

Having a strong male presence in a child’s life is CRITICAL. How important? Look at the figures:

63% of teen suicides come from fatherless homes. 5 times the national average.

SOURCE: U.S. Dept of Health

90% of all runaways and homeless children are from fatherless homes. 32 times the national average.

SOURCE: Justice and Behavior News

85% of children with behavioral problems come from fatherless homes. 20 times the national average.

SOURCE: Center for Disease Control

71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. 9 times the national average.

SOURCE: National Principals Association Report

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. 10 times the national average.

SOURCE: "Rainbow’s" for All God’s Children

85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes. 20 times the national average.

SOURCE: U.S. Dept. of Justice

If the System Worked, Parental Alienation Would Not be an Issue

Good parents become alienated from their children because another parent (or sometimes a third party, like CPS), targets the alienated parent in the hearts and minds of their children.  The results are devastating.  These children do not want anything to do with the targeted parent, except that in some cases, the alienation is so severe that the children want to hurt and destroy that parent.  Kids don't do that to a parent without help. 

And the targeting parent cannot do it alone either.  They may rely on extended family, a new boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse, or even friends and neighbors to produce the outcomes they seek.  But the cannot accomplish their ends without the help of the court system as well.

We need to understand this.  Absent a court system that prevents or inhibits alienating behaviors, we have a court system that enables these behaviors.  Here's what I mean:

When a court makes a decision to award primary custody to one parent or the other, by default it vests extraordinary powers in the custodial parent.  The extra time that parent has with the children, the sense that the children's "home" is with the custodial parent, the major decisions about where they go to school, live, go to church, what they eat, watch on TV, wear as clothing, etc., all comes from the custodial parent's power over them. 

In varying degrees, these parents treat their homes as "superior" to the home environment of the other parent.  This has an affect on the children.  Often the effect is immaterial and not even noticeable in a child's mind and actions.  But when the custodial parent pushes the envelope, the child is pushed as well.  If that parent asserts a sense of superiority over the other parent, the child's sense of self is integrally connected to the parent's feelings and beliefs.  Psychologically, the child has nowhere to go except to feel a strong sense of alienation from, or rejection of the other parent. 

But if the custodial parent had never been empowered in this way at the outset, or even if the parent was held accountable for his or her actions once so empowered, none of this would be possible.  Yet in a gross failure to provide the kind of resolution of cases and controversies our court system was originally designed for, family law courts routinely  side with custodial parents, and even more so when alienating behaviors are present and obvious. 

I won't digress too far into the reasons why, but the combination of (1) courts validating their own earlier decisions (to award one parent custody in the first place), (2) a lack of willingness to do the hard work of considering real evidence from the bench rather than deferring to a status quo they created, and (3) keeping funding flowing into the system by maintaining the status quo, work together to create a very nasty vortex of poor decision making in family law systems on the whole. 

While it is only fair to note, there are many, many family law judges who strive and work to create real balance in the system - but they are far outnumbered by those who don't.

The result is that some of the worst behaviors existing in our society are perpetuated, and never brought to account.  Parental alienation hurts kids - every time it occurs.  It should not be tolerated in our family law system at any level - and yet it is.  But in truth, the tolerance of wanton alienation could be easily reversed, if only the courts themselves were held to account for honoring a parent's rights. 

The only means we really have for holding the courts to account is to appeal to other courts having the authority to require the proper application of due process in the family law courts themselves.  With due process, a noncustodial parent has the opportunity to be heard and to fairly adjudicate the problems he or she brings to the court's attention.  Rather than walking in a court room facing an overwhelming presumption that the best thing to do is just to leave things as they are, the courts should be forced to allow every litigant a fair opportunity to present credible evidence of alienation, or any behavior that hs the tendency to impede a parent-child relationship - period!

But until it is recognized that all standards of due process and all individual rights are recognized even in family law, alienation will continue to be empowered.  The only way we are going to change this is by forming together and filing class actions against those judges, agencies, and other "state actors" who are persistently violating the rights of individuals and permitting the most invidious behaviors to continue. 

In the civil rights battles of the 1950's and 60's, it was only by mass resort to the federal courts that the evils of racially motivated discrimination were brought to account.  In our era, it's no different.  We must act - in unison - with one voice if we are to prevail.

 

Protest or Action?

by Andrew J Thompson

What if you picked up your history books, or in the fifth grade you had been taught about "The Boston Protest"?  Never heard of it?  But have you ever considered what the difference would have been between the Boston Tea Party and a Boston Protest? 

What if the Sons of Liberty had stood below the British ships in Boston Harbor carrying signs and yelling slogans but never boarded the ships and threw the tea in the water?  How different would our history be?  By engaging in the act of disposing of the tea, the American patriots deprived themselves of one of the colony's most loved imports and wantonly violated colonial law.  At the same time, however, they deprived their oppressors of large sums of tax revenue - money that would have been used to further oppress the colonists - and set a tone for an American perspective on life that literally stated we will "live free or die". 

Our ancestors were a people of great courage.  They banded together, stared death, imprisonment and financial ruin squarely in the face and refused to yield to a power that would take away their basic rights and freedoms in providing for their families and managing their own affairs.

It is so rare to find that kind of courage today.  In our movement, people's most fundamental rights in parenting their own children are routinely stepped on.  These rights are or should be even more precious than the rights the colonials sought to protect.   I have heard the saddest and most horrific reports of good moms and dads losing their ability to see and give love to their children at the hands of an uncaring system that largely exists to pump money into state and local treasuries.  It is a complete travesty.

But how have we responded in the past?  Typically, each one of us, including myself, spends whatever small fortune or resources we have to fight our own uphill battles and lose.  We fight these fights by the rules, pleading the laws and facts that fit the system's requirements - only to be told we are wrong - what we are doing, we're often told, only prolongs the fight and hurts the children.  Yes, that's what we're told by people who have never fed one meal to our kids, who have never put one bandage across a scrape on their knees, who rarely can remember their names, ages or sometimes even their sex, more than a few minutes after our hearings are concluded. 

And what have we done to that?  Seriously, what is our answer?  Where do we go beyond that fight we make for our own case?  For some, there is much more of an outreach to similarly aggrieved individuals.  Yet, what measurable achievements can we show for all that effort?  It's a good question, don't you think?

Reform Family Law Now was founded for a different purpose - it is an action organization.  We are here to bring class based litigation into the federal courts to force an end to funding of the practices of violating individual rights by the states, local judges and other government agencies. 

Toward that end, we have identified the first four potential classes of  plaintiffs to be represented and bring suit in federal court against the violations we face.  We're doing this to take actions that will truly reform the system. 

We want to find at least one potential class representative from each of the approximately 91 districts of the federal judicial system, in every state across America.  When we have sufficient representation for even one of the classes, and the funding is available to pursue the litigation, we will initiate the litigation that will bring an end to the funding of violations of parents' Constitutional rights in the family law system. 

And if we are told no, we will keep moving forward.  If we are told no again, we will keep moving forward.  We will continue the fight until the broken system is prevented from doing further harm to our children.  That means that the funding feeds the system must be held to account openly and publicly - and it almost certainly will require major, class victories to succeed. 

Please come join us.  Along with signing up for our updates on this page, you may also become a fan of our facebook group: Reform Family Law Now. 

In the near future, you will be hearing about events that we hope to hold across America and very soon - to garner support, and identify new people who will join our movement and self-identify as potential class members.  Our goal is to get at least one new class prospect for each potential class from every single rally that is held. 

Check back later today for a new page that identifies the classes and the particular violations of rights that we are targeting.  Stay tuned - change is about to come.  It's at our doorstep - we just need to answer the call!

Reforming Family Law: What You Can Do Right Now

by Andrew J Thompson

I began my weekly broadcast this past Tuesday through Talkshoe.com on the Get Your Justice Live network with Lary Holland.  For the rest of this week my office has been overwhelmed with the question: so what do we do now? 

I've been receiving calls and emails from every corner of the the country from people in tragic situations of their own, shaped by the misuse of the family law system and lack of access to true justice.  This isn't a problem easily attacked on a case-by-case basis.  If it was, we would have had reform a long time ago.  It's a problem that demands people bring their cases and make themselves heard in a set of unified voices. 

In the past, the system has worked against families systematically and - at least in terms of acting in a destructive manner - efficiently.  Meanwhile, we have been fighting it one-by-one and ineffectively.  It's time for us to become systematic and efficient in attacking a whole system that has been trampling families' rights for too long. 

I'm creating a new vehicle to enable the system we need to accomplish these ends.  Essentially we need to gather key bits of information from every person within our constituency, to begin sorting out the potential classes of litigants and joinder of claims. 

The information we need is straightforward and pretty simple:

• Basic personal information: name, home address, email and phone;
• A very succinct description of the facts giving rise to your own claim;
• The specific Constitutional rights you would assert to be violated;
• A very brief statement of the remedy you believe would resolve your own issues.

As we learn where the commonality become individual situations can be clearly defined, we can then proceed to put together a class petition, and other claims, primarily in family court.

This is the beginning.  We also need considerable help carrying out the tasks we must in order to succeed.  So we need people to self-identify skills or abilities they have, i.e. legal research, IT skill, administrative support, database management and administration, etc.  With a number of us working together, we will be able to attack the problem more quickly, in essence, to create a rapid response team and legal coalition of activists who will help move our mission forward at "all deliberate speed" - that's a quote from the United States Supreme Court, by the way.

We also must keep in mind that reform won't be achieved without costs.  We need help with funding!  If every person will contribute just what they can, we will reach our destiny sooner.  If most of us will trade in a small fraction of what we would have to pay for other legal representation and chip in a few hundred dollars toward the costs, we will move ahead very far and very fast.  If everyone of us contributes at least a few dollars, we will show the tribunals we face that we are committed, serious and irrepressible as a unit.  If just a few people are able to step forward and fund the largest share of the costs, we will show those who would deprive us of our rights that we are entirely capable of taking them on step-by-step throughout intense litigation.

We can bring about the change we need through the civil rights litigation that may be the only avenue of hope for real change in the time we need.  All of our children are growing up fast.  As each day passes, we lose one day in their tender young lives to play the roles we should in helping them be the people we want them to be, and keeping the relationships with their parents in tact in the way they should be able.

Forms will be added to the site very soon.  In the meantime, please do not hesitate to reach our office via email at: info@reformfamilynow.org.  Tomorrow's a new day with much hope and expectation!  We hope to hear from you soon.

How to Change a Broken System

by Andrew J Thompson

40 years ago, our system of family law was made up of local courts dealing with local families, and children that lived in their communities.  True, there was corruption in the system then too.  There always has been.  But things are very different today - and not so much for the better. Truly, how good can a system be that, in some states, collects as little 40% of outstanding child support obligations?

How did we get to the disaster that we now face?  All we really need to do is to look at what we've allowed to happen.  In 1986, the Bradley Amendment was passed into law.  Strange, to remember Bradley and 1986 for me - I was a young tax accountant in Chicago and I recall Sen. Bradley as the leading voice among Democrats to pass President Reagan's Tax Reform Act to simply the Internal Revenue Code.  Amazingly, however, in the midst of the most sweep tax reform of our lifetimes - the entire Internal Revenue Code was rewritten - Sen. Bradley and his allies were able to finagle this seemingly helpful provision into another bill pending before Congress at the same time. 

But that wasn't where it ended - VAWA, Welfare Reform, Title IV-D, we continued to allow the national government to seize more power to regulate the lives of people in little towns across America.  In short, family law went from a very imperfect system where local systems governed the affairs of local people, to an utterly nationalized system that is designed to take funding printed, printed at the behest of Congress and the federal reserve, and use it to control state and local tribunals handling cases for every cul de sac in America.

As an attorney, I have much to say about how to effect change in the law - and that's coming.  But I want to frame this for everyone reading to understand - the corruption in our monetary system, in the federal reserve, enables the corruption we witness in all other areas of government.  There could be no $1.8 Trillion stimulus without the federal reserve's license to print money.  Any government program you don't like exists because it can be funded with impunity by the federal reserve.

You want change - before we get into what we can do via the law - truly we should start by reining in the federal reserve and creating a stable, honest money supply.  Go to the Campaign for Libertywebsite and sign the petition to bring the federal reserve under control.  Without this step, other reforms will continue to be defeated by new legislation, new spending, and more bureaucracy.

Closer to home, somewhat, is what we can do through the judicial system itself.  The problem is that thanks to the heavy handed laws passed by Congress, local courts feel it is no longer necessary or even relevant to consider individuals's Constitutional rights in a courtroom.  Mary Johnson is such a classic example of this.  Not once, but twice, she was charged with a crime she plainly did not commit, and lost custody of her daughter, and nearly all contact with her daughter because of it.

Fundamental rights are ignored in family law courts.  No jury, no due process, no equal protection - nothing that someone charged with a violent crime is afforded - it's just wrong.

So what do we do?  There are tools in an attorney's bag that are rarely used - Class actions, declaratory judgments, Writs of Mandamas - these are three vital means of reasserting individual rights in our courts.  But it takes the movement working together.  Case by case activity will eventually yield some victories, but pooled resources will accomplish much more and sooner.

Join us in the fight.  Together we can make a real difference and for the better.  But we need everyone who has been harmed by the system to lend their voices to be heard!

Before One More Child is Lost...

Fix the Corrupt System

by Andrew J Thompson

Every day, I talk to parents who are forced to be absent from their children's lives for no good reason, sometimes for no reason at all.  When parents are taken from a child's life, the child suffers.  The odds of increased drug use, crime, and out-of-wedlock pregnancies all sky rocket when children are left without a father or mother, or worst of all - without both.

The family law and family court systems of all 50 states, underwritten by the federal government, has badly distorted financial incentives that encourage separation and divorce, alienation of one or both parents from their child, unjust and inappropriate awards of child support, and many other barriers to sound, health family relationships.

If we do not reverse this trend - and soon - an entire generation of American children is at great risk of losing the sense of security, hope and grounding in family that has enabled every past generation of Americans to find it within themselves to manage through every battle we've faced.  Today's children are ill equipped to face tomorrow's challenges because their own parents have been stripped, in whole or in part, from their lives. 

Meanwhile, parents suffer too!  And they suffer in ways none of us could imagine until it happens to us, for reasons no one can support with logic, love or truth.

Together, we can and must bring about change.  This is at the very core of each of our beings, of who we are as individuals and who are as a nation.  It is so much bigger than health care reform, climate change, and unemployment.  It affects every one of us.  It hurts more deeply, it lasts even longer.  We will not have a generation equipped to address these issues unless we find a way to address the harms our children are caused by the oppression and injustice of the family court system today. 

It is also bigger than second had smoke, the addictive nature of nicotine and problems with asbestos.  As awful as these problems are, the corruption within the family law system far exceeds them.  Yet, these issues have been and are begin effectively addressed through the court system itself, following the initiation of large scale class action litigation. 

We can do the same and do more.  Not only can we effect change via serious and thoughtful class action, we can similarly bring change through legislation and our impact on federal, state and local lawmakers and administrators.  We can change the law: we can change the case law, and we can change the enacted law as well.

I am a licensed attorney in the state of Indiana with experience in class litigation.

If you believe you your Constitutional rights have been violated through this corrupt system, please join us!  The first thing to do is to add your email address to our mailing list using the form in the upper, left hand column above.  We will be forwarding forms to all new subscribers to describe the specifics of your situation and evaluate your claim. 

Whether it is a matter of equal protection or due process, involving issues with child protective services, child support enforcement, an unjust loss of parenting time, abuse of VAWA claims, basic judicial corruption, or any other matter that has caused harm to you and your children through the improper use of governmental authority, you rights - and your children's deserve to be protected. 

If you can give to help support the cause, your gifts will be greatly appreciated as well.  Whether it's a gift of $10, $25, $100 or more, every bit will help us fight to win this most important battle.  It is a long, uphill fight and we need your support!

That is the simple goal of Reform Family Law Now.  We hope you will come alongside us in bringing about the change that may spare our children from a looming national disaster.  Please join us today!